Kai's LJ Needs A Real Title

Original Post: 1 Feb 2006
Personal Post: 5 Feb 2006

What would you like to get out of this?

What I really want is to actually do some of these things; I'm very good at coming up with ideas or activities I would like to do, but then I fail at the actually doing them part. I know I can write (Aishuu--one of my favourite authors--commented on my two fanfics and said they were cute! Please excuse me while I go fangirl), now I just need to do it consistently so I can get better at it.

I'm also hoping to start drawing again--I used to be pretty good at it. That might be hoping for too much though; guess I'll find out by February!

Because: Why the hell not. Since the year's already half over, maybe if I try out a short list of stuff, I'll be more amiable to trying it out properly when New Year's rolls around. Besides, I have stuff to do (of the repeatable events variety), and I like making lists.

( DoAble )

( SemiDoAble )

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[Local Time: 13.15]

Well, I feel quite accomplished: I updated my Visual Bookshelf (on Facebook), added bookmarks to delicious (kvenderbosch) for my new hobby (amigurumi), deleted some useless tags on my LJ, and poked through a few old entries, trying to figure out a plan of attack. I'm going to delete/edit every entry full of excessive whining, since those have no redeeming value whatsoever. And I need to make up a new tag system, so I don't end up with useless/redundant tags again.

Maybe once I'm done organizing all my online stuff, I'll start organizing my computer. THAT'S something I'm not really looking forward to; my laptop hasn't had a good purging session in forever (as in, the four-five years since I got it).

Mum and Omi were out for coffee with Ada (Omi's friend); I wish I got to go, but I had only just gotten hauled out of bed, so I couldn't get ready in time. Normally I'm not in bed that long (09.00 local time), but I was up a bit later than usual last night watching the game (as everyone on Facebook knows). We won against Norway 2-0, so I think I can forgive them for letting Iceland score on saturday.

It's been so cloudy and rainy lately, it makes me not want to do anything. I'll be glad when I get home, because then I can actually do nothing and Mum won't bother me about "Don't you want to go out and DO something?", which has started to get really annoying lately.

I'm too used to coding things from scratch, so I guess revamping the LJ will have to wait until I get home--will be easier to read up on the style stuff once I'm off dial-up, and I can start purging my high school whinings at the same time.

In the meantime, I've changed it back to this layout, since I needed a change, and this one is too freakin' adorable to resist, especially since the next two icons I made are a tad too big for LJ so I'll have to fiddle them smaller (somehow).

Dad and Elides left at 0630 this morning, to drive the rental monster car back to BRU and then fly back to IAD then ROC. Brian and Emily left at 13.30ish to catch the train from here to Den Haag, then some more trains on the way back to London; talked to Emily on MSN about half an hour ago.

Today was a nice, lazy, restful day: Did some reading (though I keep reading at this pace I'll run out of books to read, even with the ones I was given), and finished Lori's Christmas present. I wonder if I should keep the extra yarn (four whole balls in two colours), or see if I can find the receipt and return it to JoAnn's when I get home. I think I'll probably just keep it--it's nice yarn.

I think the plan is that we're goin' shoppin' tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.

[3 June 2009 15.12 Local Time]
Figured out the icon uploading problem; had to put in an exception for LJ in my adblocker thing, so I've uploaded the rest. Go me! Some of them looked a lot better before I had to fiddle it for LJ, but I guess that's the best I can do.

Indulging in fangirlish squee is quite fun once in a while (though I suck for using tables to display them).

I have one icon spot left, but I see an icon I've been meaning to delete, and two definitely need to be redone. Hooray for playing with pictures.

[23.33 Local Time]
I just finished one this evening! :D I am using it now in fact, just showing it off to myself. As an added level to the showing off, I'm using the Japanese text version (too bad I couldn't put the description in Japanese too; BB can't input Japanese [though it can input Arabic]). Oh yeah, for some reason LJ wouldn't load the Manage Icons page, so I copied the icons over to my BB and uploaded them that way. Lol.

I feel the urge to "squee" when I look at it. Luckily, it is very easy to resist the impulse. I think it looks quite nice, though maybe I should've sped up the animation a bit.

I have another icon in the works from the same music video, another from Kimeru's Mirrorball, and after that I guess I'll see what source images I have with me.

Don't really feel like rambling on about the process, so I guess I'll just play a few (hundred) games of Solitaire. Or work on my Brickbreaker high score for a while.

[Edited 15.25 25 May 2009 Local Time]:
I now have Internets on my BlackBerry! It is slow, but then that's what you get on dial-up. Edited what I posted earlier, because I just can't leave it alone.

Oh, and apparently the BB problem with posting has to do with how these input boxes are coded--the BlackBerry browser doesn't understand it. Which is stupid, since the previous version worked just fine, and I can't go back to it. So I guess I'll either have to put up with it, try copy pasta, or download a new BlackBerry browser.

In the meantime, I'll work on some more LJ icons; I've missed doing that, and I've allowed LJ put advertisements on my LJ just so I could have more icons, so it's definitely a shame not to make use of that space. :P

[23.16 Local Time]
So, apparently I forgot to update the BB software on my laptop when I got my new BB, and there's something screwy (well, in addition to everything else :P), which isn't letting it install. Dad's trying to figure out; he e-mailed Bill America too, so maybe he can help.

In the meantime, that means no internet for me unless we go to my uncle's house or I do it on the BB, but some things need a full laptop in order to be done properly. Like posting to LJ; for some reason, this BB is putting all this text on one freakin' line instead of doing it normally like my other BB, which is a pain in the ass. If this entry looks all fubared, that's why--no way in hell am I gonna take forever to scroll back and fix typos, and if I lose my train of thought... Well... Guess we'll end up with some interesting sentences. :P

I will have to see if there's anything in my browser options that'll fix this... I have stuff I wanna post about, but for now, it is way past my bedtime.

On Delicious. I had no idea just how many fanfic links I have, even after weeding out ones I don't care for anymore. On the bright side, a fic I thought lost for good (Actualize This!) has been found in a new place. On the other hand... two other stories I've loved have disappeared, and since it's been forever since I kept proper track of things, there'll probably be plenty more. Maybe I can find them on the Wayback Machine.

Anyway, here's hoping that I'll one day be able to get this LJ organized, and actually make proper use of it--can't properly move on with my life until after I've cleaned up some of the messes I've made, and this can become a useful resource if I do things right.

Of course, this also means that my LJ Favourite Fanfic entries will be deleted once I've transferred everything over (of course I'm doing this manually); maybe I should delete some other entries as well. Hmm. Well, a thought for another time.

The Fandom-Related Links
All Other Links

( List of Disappeared Fiction )

Don't know why I didn't think of this sooner, but putting all my race results in one post is a good idea. Makes 'em easy to find if I need to feel the sense of accomplishment again.

25 October 2008 [Saturday] - Johnny's Run Like Hell 5K
Bib Number: 141
Time: 43:43
Pace: 14:06/M
Placement: 290/291
Comments: Was originally going to do this with Rafal and Ryan (and it would've been awesome), but Rafal had family visiting and apparently it is more important for Ryan to hang out with his boyfriend than his friends. It was still fun anyway, even though my costume was kind of sucky (stitchwitchery is good for hems and that applique stuff, but not for seams :P), and it was a bit rainy all day. A couple and their daughter ran ahead of me and the guy was nice enough to ask how I was I doing. Aww. And the volunteers and the runners who were already done were also encouraging. Runners really are an awesome group of kind people. :) Mike was kind enough to invite me over for pumpkin carving after, so all in all, it was the best day I've had in months.

14 September 2008 [Sunday] - Preferred Care Rochester Half Marathon
Bib Number: 2118
Time: 4:35:54
Pace: 21:04/M
Placement: 1376/1377
Comments: Ryan did this with me, and we started ten minutes late (they'd already taken down the start line) because his alarm clock "died" (hmm). It was hot and humid and painful and long (four and a half hours? I could've gotten in some prime WoW time or read through a book or two!), but it was definitely worth it. I will try again next year, with better shoes and proper training.

26 July 2008 [Saturday] - MedVed 10 Ugly Men 5K
Bib Number: 255
Time: 43:44
Pace: 14:06/M
Placement: 418/420
Comments: Wow, I'm seven minutes and six seconds faster than I was around this time last year! I really need to stick to an actual running program, then I'll get even better. I'm going to try and do this race every year, such good memories. :)

14 June 2008 [Saturday] - Buffalo Race for the Cure 5K
Bib Number: 0929
Time: 46:41
Pace: 15:02/M
Placement: 1087/1236
Comments: This was the biggest race I've been to! It was pretty fun actually, though I think I'll prefer the smaller ones (must be my reclusive nature). Obviously I didn't get much practice in, but I'm still happy. The course was great (map on the back of the bib number, yay), the volunteers were great, the food after was great, and my parents were great for driving me down to Buffalo for it. :)

18 May 2008 [Sunday] - MedVed Lilac 5K Family Fun Run
Bib Number: 256
Time: 45:34
Pace: 14:42/M
Placement: 562/602
Comments: This was a very nice race; I think I'll do it again next year. I'm glad my time was so good, especially since I've only run a little in January, March, and April. Need to get in some more runs before my next race, and I should be able to get sub-45 without too much trouble.

1 December 2007 [Saturday] - Jingle Bell 5K Run/Walk for Arthritis
Bib Number: 426
Time: 46:44
Pace: 15:04/M
Placement: 559/611
Comments: It was actually snowing that morning, and it was damn cold, but at least it stopped snowing by the time we had went. We got a really nice goodie bag; Rafal was very happy with the gloves. Rafal decided to walk the whole thing and he didn't really want to run at the end which is why I finished before he did haha. If it wasn't enough that I had to jog to keep up with him walking, he ended up dragging me along part way. Was a lot of fun though; went out for breakfast afterwards. No pictures since Mum wasn't there to take any--good thing too, I looked ridiculous with my shorts over my trousers.

10 November 2007 [Saturday] - Pirate Toy Fund 5K
Bib Number: 63
Time: 44:07
Pace: 14:14/M
Placement: 128/128
Comments: Wore my Kyo hat, long trousers and a long sleeved shirt because it was drizzly and cold out. Running with long trousers is weird and I don't like it; will either have to tough it out with my shorts (and get sick) or hope knee socks work (hey, I won't be the only one wearin' 'em). Could barely breathe at the end since it made me cough despite all the cough drops I inhaled during the day.

27 October 2007 [Saturday] - Johnny's Run Like Hell Costumed 5K
Bib Number: 334
Time: 44:27
Pace: 14:20/M
Placement: 400/400
Comments: First race in which I got a friend to race with me (Rafal is made of win and awesome). I have no idea how I managed to not only finish faster than my other races, but come in sub 45, especially since it was either windy and cold or sunny and hot and I was wearing a baggy costume, but I did. After the guy tagged me my legs sort of folded under me and I had an awful time trying to stand let alone walk anywhere. Still feeling it today, and hope I'm better by tomorrow--stairs are murder.

6 October 2007 [Saturday] - Safe Journey Scarecrow 5K Run/Walk
Time: 0:52:01
Pace: 0:16:47/M
Bib Number: 206
Placement: 266/286
Comments: First race in which I wasn't dead last (yay for the walkers!) and the first chip timed race. Walked more than I planned, since the course was steeper than I was expecting and it was so bloody hot. Discovered that I sprint reasonably well at the end, will have to try that at the 3 mile mark in the next race.

28 July 2007 [Saturday] - Ten Ugly Men 5K
Bib Number: 248
Time: 50:50
Pace: 16:24/M
Placement: 420/420
Comments: First race ever, had just completed the Couch to 5K before this. Dad said he could've walked it faster than I ran it haha.

Woohoo, a new year of Dead Bunnies! Hope I can make better progress this time around (especially with the pile of new stuff I've picked up).

[Reply to [DEAD BUNNY #1]]

Hmm, how to order these... how about by "how much work I've done on it". That works. But not really.

( Fanfic (18) )

( Fanart (4) )

( Icons (10+) )

( Otaku Mascot (5+) )

About the list: Damn, that's a lot of stuff! Didn't know I still had that many ideas. Managed to make two of the icons, though I also added two fanfic ideas so that sort of evens it out. Fanfic... well, I should be able to write at least one or two of the shorter ones, especially that BSSM/WK one--textfile for that's been on my drive for years (for real this time)... and hopefully get started on one of the slightly longer ones (really wanna write the Danny Phantom/Bleach crossover--need a real plot, argh!). We'll see how this works out...

I was so sure I could hold it together for this presentation too--practiced my part extra and I was with friends, so it should've been okay, but I completely lost it anyway. I'm so pathetic. They did great so at least their grades didn't suffer too much and since the quarter's almost over they won't have to put up with me anymore. Cringing in my seat that long gave me some awful cramps.

Anyway, Nyte says my LJ posts have been emo lately, so let's not dwell on what a loser I am.

I think I'm going to get myself smashed after finals. I've been 21 for half a year now, and I still haven't gotten drunk once yet. For shame. Yes, I think that's a good idea. Krow gave me some suggestions on what to try, so now all I gotta do is figure out if I wanna get drunk by myself or have a friend with me.

Almost strangled myself when I got out of the shower this morning when my  bra strap got tangled up in my chain necklace. Managed to untangle myself  before too many spots took over my vision. Thus, why I usually don't wear jewelry. Am only still wearing it because I tend to forget I'm wearing it (leading to incidents such as the above) and I really don't care about wearing jewelry all that much. No one cares.

Shouldn't have asked Mike for that hug yesterday, since I spent all evening trying not to cry. Almost did cry this morning when I couldn't find the t-shirt I wanted to wear (aren't I pathetic? Ugh, I disgust myself). Did find it, which made me sort-of happy for a few hours, but now I just want to curl up in a ball in a nice out of the way place where I won't bother anyone and just... go to sleep. Forever. Or something.

Speaking of disgusting, at least my hair has grown out enough to not look horrible anymore. Might even be a bit cute, though I wouldn't go that far to describe it. Got some stuff a few months ago to put on my stretchmarks, and it seems to be working; Mum says the ones on my arm are going away (I'm exactly the wrong person to ask if that's true or not), but at least none of the marks are getting worse. Not good enough, but who knows maybe I'll get really lucky and they'll fade enough so I can shower with my eyes open.

Waiting for Ryan to get here to work on the group project; here's hoping we get more done, unlike that pathetic excuse for a group meeting we had on tuesday.

Kind of sad that the only hugs and cuddling I can get is from my gay friend.

14.19--Okay, that female with the headphones needs to learn about proper volume, and a lesson in what "good music" consists of wouldn't go amiss either.

I think I'll spend tomorrow morning lazing about in bed before going to RIT for lab stuff. Will be so glad when this quarter is over--that'll take care of half of my misery.

Going to classes today will be worse than usual. Just sitting here hurts, never mind walking, and forget about stairs--major ow. I think part of my stomachache is just me being hungry; we'll see once I get the energy up to stagger into the kitchen to make myself tea and breakfast (actually glad that my laptop is in the dining room now haha).

I will be so glad when this quarter is over, even if it means I get Cs in all my classes; I will probably be too relieved to bother worrying about how disappointed my parents will be.

Metal trays stay pretty hot for a while after they've been taken out of the oven.

Also, it is inconvenient doing things left-handed when one isn't a leftie.

At least, if Rafal is to be believed. Just had a rather strange conversation with him; everything was going swimmingly as usual, until he says "well... there are rumors that after you came back, you got a haircut you are nto very proud of", plunging us into a deep discussion about my haircut, and other weird things like how I have to make myself look good and grow out my hair and terms such as "self-image" may also have been thrown around. All in all, the weirdest twenty-five minutes (give or take) in recent memory (HAH! :P), especially since it wasn't a topic I'd have ever expected to come up with him.

But yeah, I've decided (quite a while ago, actually) to grow out my hair again; give it four or five months to start looking semi-decent again, since until then it will be a complete and utter disaster (trust me on this, I think a few pictures may have survived from the last time I did this). Maybe I need to look for a hat; I know I have two (an orange and black one, and a red and white one) around here somewhere. Yes, I think I'll do that tomorrow morning.

Well, I'm already not getting eight hours of sleep tonight (seem incapable of sleeping past 7.00, 7.30 if I'm lucky) but I'd better not make it worse by staying up even later. Better get to sleep before my lovely pain meds wear off (wheeee, I don't feel much of anything, it's great) and I'm miserable all night.

It's not doing me much good in my bag, is it? :P

And I'm a disgusting, lying, whining bitch too.

Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Or not enough. I don't know, I'm just going to go to bed and knock myself out with some NyQuil.

Those two words sum it up nicely.

So glad it's finally not too early to go to bed, and that I don't have a reason to go anywhere near RIT tomorrow anymore.

I am unbelievably worn out, and it's only Week 2--usually I don't start feeling like this until Week 6 or 7 at the earliest; guess the stresses of regular life don't help with that haha. Doesn't help that Fuzzy kept making a fuss about my away message and how I haven't dated, since that aggravates my already unstable mental/emotional state, but he seems to have dropped the subject (since I don't wake up to any more messages in the morning haha).

The weird cramping soreness that tends to happen around my left hip is back; not as painful as it could be (read: hurts to breathe, can't sit up), but bad enough (read: hurts and it makes me feel sick).

Mum has some kind of doctor-thing at 9.15 tomorrow morning, and more physical therapy at 12.30, so I'll be stranded at RIT once Mike and I finish (hopefully) our lab stuff. Oh well, it's no big deal--has happened plenty of times before--and she's promised to take me to JoAnn's and Borders too.

Yeah... in desperate need of baking stuff, since that always makes me feel better, but I don't have a convenient supply of coworkers available who'll gladly eat it all, so I don't know. Maybe I can mail it to some of my remote friends, I have other stuff I need to mail to them anyway.

Mike wanted an update, so here it is:

Today was a very long day.

Woke up at 6.30 this morning, due to Jopie chewing on the cable sticking out of my wall; he's going to hurt himself doing that one day. Was lazy for a few hours, then got to work on Christmas presents; very happy with the way the first batch came out. Also, once I get to JoAnn's and ACMoore for more supplies, I'll make Lori a present since she's been sick lately. Still have to decide which kind of cookies to go with it, and while I'm at it, will send some stuff to Starfire and Nyte too. Anyone else want some? :)

Played a little WoW for the first time in a long while (the emotional meltdown I was having was severe enough that all I could do was mope, be depressed, sleep, and go through the motions of living, and by the time I felt a tiny bit better and thought Azeroth would be a better place to hang out than Earth, we went to Spain), and had a pleasant surprise: Kreliane's back! I think he's been back for a little while at least since he's now one level higher than Ethe, but he's here to stay awhile, so we can hang out. Will be fun, I need to hang out with my friends more often.

It's so weird, not having class in the morning. Hate having class in the afternoon and evening. Guess it's a good thing I don't have a social life. Isn't that depressing. Since I can stay up late and sleep in in the morning, maybe I'll go get drunk some night. Won't have the experience of going to a morning class hung-over like Gray did, but at the very least it should keep me asleep until I have class. No one else will be around anyway, either in class (like I should be), or asleep. Was surprised at how many familiar faces I saw in my classes today.

Speaking of familiar faces, Mike is still how I remember... Was starting to wonder if my memory was warping hahaha. Doesn't help that I'm starting to think I imagined a few things, but oh well. I'm less clumsy now than I was for the past few days so maybe my mind'll start clearing now. Integrated Telephony should be good, if I can manage not to go crazy from sitting in the middle of the damn room (thank you EVER so much). Mike also reminded me of my awful haircut; I knew I should have ordered that wig after all. I make a crappy girl, but I can't pull off a boy's haircut anymore, so I guess I'll just have to make to do. It was convenient while in Spain, what with going in the pool so much, but it'll grow out soon enough.

Professor for Needs Assessment (forgot his name already) seems pretty cool if only for the fact that he admits his slides are boring and his lectures almost send him to sleep. Seems easy enough, though concentrating will get more difficult as the quarter goes on. I thought I saw Gandara-san (from Japanese last year); looks similar, but I don't know his first name and don't remember his voice. Maybe I'll check out the class list on myCourses and see if it is him.

Beginning Arabic I should be fun. That is all.

Went to Zebb's for dinner, met up with Mum, Dad, Bob, and Kathy; had an oreo shake and some munchies, and that's when the mild twinges in my stomach during Integrated Telephony come back with a vengence; sitting up hurt, sharp stabbing pains pretty high up on the left of my abdomen. Left early, right side started hurting too while driving home, limped upstairs and collapsed on the couch. Am typing this while watching Psych... Really should eat something, but sitting up isn't working so going to the kitchen is out of the question. Maybe I'll just go to bed instead, but that might lead to sleeping too much, and that only happens when I'm upset. Hmm.

I need less depressing reading material. I mean, seriously? What I've been reading lately tends to revolve around murder, serial killers, mass murderers, or mass suicide, and it's probably contributing to my state of mind in a rather unhealthy way.

Well, I am tired, so as long as the kitties (who no longer feel the need to paste themselves to me while I sleep) don't make pests of themselves I should sleep like the dead. About time.